PRESIDENT SNOW

COMMANDER IN STYLE

President of Panem. Figurehead of the Capitol. Icon of style? You bet your Brioni britches!

With his ever-present white clergy shirt and dark sanguine button-up vest, President Coriolanus Snow is making a strong case for the ancient adage “less is more” — a concept about as foreign to Capitol fashionistas as D4’s bread. Speaking of D4, the leader of Panem’s Execu-chic branch always completes his classy ensemble with an impeccably tailored equally sanguine sharkskin jacket. It’s one-of-a-kind and was given to him by D4’s mayor Hunter Phillips on his very first Presidential Tour of Panem over 25 years ago. I’m sure we’d all agree: If you absolutely have to visit the Districts, a gorgeous sui generis sharkskin sport coat will serve just fine as a goodie bag.

But let’s move past the staples of menswear and into what we all need to know: What is up with that white rose that practically lives on our President’s lapel? And how does it smell so perfectly perfumed all the time? That singular rose is the most talked about accessory in Panem fashion history and has been the subject of rampant speculation for decades. Was it really engineered by horticultural geneticists in D3 to have a blissfully unfading scent? Has he worn the same one for his entire reign? Or does he have a never-ending supply? Is it actually a floral muttation from the First Quarter Quell? So much mystery! And we promise we have our best CC snoops on the case.

Less of a mystery is President Snow’s majestic coiffure. When it comes to flowing angelic locks, few have our ruler overruled. As soft and white as his surname, President Snow’s luxurious mane is the envy of older male citizens throughout the Capitol and surely the whole country. His stylists insist they simply use an all-natural organic olive oil and white vinegar solution to preserve the President’s remarkable volume and shine. And to keep his similarly alabaster beard in order, President Snow is rumored to prefer Cutting Edge’s Beard and Mustache Trimmer… the exact same shaver of choice for Cutting Edge spokesman and Head Gamemaker Seneca Crane. We can’t help but wonder if the two gents ever sit down and talk facial hair.

As we enter into the 74th year of everyone’s favorite annual affair, it’s Swarovski crystal clear: the future of fashion and the future of our nation was never in better looking hands.